Is Closure Necessary to Move on?

 A few years ago on my previous platform, I made a YouTube video contemplating whether closure is truly necessary to move on. Whether it is closure from an outside source or emotional closure within, is any form of closure truly a necessity?

I sit here this morning contemplating it again. 

If you have read the previous blog posts, you know that there is an on-going situation I have talked about that broke my heart within the span of trying to launch this platform. Well, as time passes, the situation continues to reveal more and more pain and is now at the point of needed a complete no-contact boundary. Which is incredibly gut-wrenching and I still have no real idea as to why it has happened. 

They offered a very superficial explanation but nothing more than that. They insisted to talk about it but at the time I could not bear it, I did not want to hear it, I allowed them to talk but I refused to prompt any questions. Their unsolicited explanation was shallow and vague. 

Since then, I have tried to interact with them twice professionally. Not bringing up the issue or the situation, but allowing a chance to move forward in a way that benefitted both of us. And they seemed excited and receptive however both times, as a professional, they let me down. And the way they handled it was not only unprofessional... but also impersonal as if I was a stranger.

The sudden shift from a decade and a half of a close, interpersonal relationship suddenly going to acting as strangers is beyond what I could speculate. I couldn't even receive respect as a paying client or a friend in need. And listen, had my messages went unanswered, I would get it. But, the receptiveness to work together and then suddenly mishandling it, it was confusing. I told them I figured out the work issue and that I wouldn't bug them again and they simply heart-reacted it. They liked, loved even, the concept of me never bothering them again. 

After 15 years of phone calls, texts, social events, emergencies, everything. Suddenly, my presence is a nuisance and I don't know why. 

So, I said I wouldn't bother them, and I won't. They showed me the door and I will walk out of it. But now, I am faced with the task of trying to heal and move-on from a relationship that had lasted more than half of my life with no real idea of what truly happened. Only a vague suggestion and disappointing action. 

Well, here it is again, is closure truly necessary to move on?

There are many people who have to move on from situations where it is impossible to get closure straight from the source. They create closure through healing whether they script a letter or they find their own meaning the situation. 

I hope to get there. Intellectually, I have mentally ran through every scenario of this situation. Spiritually, I have asked my guides, tarot cards, and meditations for clarity. Creatively, even at this moment, I give the situation meaning and wisdom to help others. But, yet, emotionally, deep in the caves of my being, I feel like a little girl standing alone at the sidelines not knowing what she did wrong to be left out.

I used to think closure isn't necessary in a formal, literal sense. That closure can be casually formed overtime through different means and the passage of change. 

But, I do wonder, if I will ever go a day or a week and not crave the answers to my questions I dared not to ask.