Shifting of intentions

 What happens if suddenly, the goals you set, the intentions you have, the journey you mapped out, and the life you have been working for, do not resonate with you anymore?

As humans in a world full of so many possibilities, its only to be expected that we simply, change our mind. And a world full of so much unpredictability, its inevitable that at times, it throws you a curveball. 

But… but… you spent a year learning Spanish to move to Costa Rica and now you need to move somewhere with a big production market like New York or SoCal. You wanted to go backpacking for six months and purged all your belongings just to find out you are expecting a beautiful baby girl in the Summer. You worked on a relationship for years to prepare for marriage and they decided that the relationship wasn’t worth continuing. 

Time and effort - for nothing it can seem. For a plan that life deemed not necessary. It is easy to get annoyed, frustrated, or to feel something was just silly to do in the first place. So many days of dedication and moments of perseverance and now it does not even seem relevant.

The reality is, even if all that you have worked for does not align with what you currently are projecting towards, hard work is never a waste.

A few years ago I worked on a micro-budget film, almost everyday for a couple months I put my entire life towards the film. I barely saw my family compared to what I was used to as a stay-at-home mother, I could barely sleep, and I truly felt it was the beginning of a new path for me. I wrote screenplays, did side gigs, did everything I could to impress the higher ups. My contract mentioned a check for $8K if it sold. With such established professionals on board, I felt like it would be a sure thing. I mean, I knew of student films that sold, why wouldn’t this? Well, it didn’t. That check was never written, a second film was never made, my screenplays were never sent around, and in fact, the film became a joke amongst the community despite the blood, sweat and tears that was put in it (and the local award it won). 

I could have walked away bitter, and believe me, there were some days that the disappointment and the conversations weighed a ton. I mean, people still ask me about it and want to watch it with me and I cannot bear to even say the name because the feedback is seldom positive. However, key word is seldom, as people in production recognise the sheer amount of effort and man power it takes to create a film out of thin air. Even if it induces unintended laughter, it speaks for itself in the effort to even make it. 

The experience made for me to have been able to befriend people who work in that or similar fields, allowed me to take on jobs I was not previously qualified for, and gave me so many personal lessons. I learned I was capable with keeping up with the demands, that I loved production and film, and just how much goes into even the shortest scene. All of which, have opened more aligned doors and a greater sense of confidence. 

Did it become the life-changing career that led to my own film being made? No, well, at least not yet. But was it still worth the time and effort? Absolutely. 

Learning Spanish is still an incredible skill even if you aren’t moving to Costa Rica. Purging your things for hiking gear allows room for purchasing things for a home with a little one. That relationship did not work out, but you learned about yourself, what you like and don’t, and now you have a chance to find someone who won’t leave.

When facing the chance to go back to the drawing board, do not overlook the new wisdom and insights you have gained. Take all that you have learned and create your new journey, set your new goals, have a new intention knowing you are all the better for your previous work. 

Even since creating this platform a few weeks ago, my intentions have shifted around a bit, not even by my own choice but rather from an unfortunate curveball that had be gutted. And though it could be easy to give up and convince myself I am okay with the life I have, I know there is still a greater purpose than my original intention. For that, I am grateful.

- Dani 💙💚