Finding your holiday spirit

 Around this time of year so many people debate what is important. Is it family? A certain religion or religious figure? Is it simply a hijacked sentiment now used for capitalistic intents and purposes? Are we putting up a front or illusion of a perfect holiday for social media gain?

I am not particularly religious and though I love seasonal activities and aesthetics, like something about holiday decor gets me going no matter the event… Christmas could be another day for me.

As a child, I loved the holidays, especially Christmas. But, as I grew into the awareness of my family’s circumstances, the things that often made it hard to enjoy any familial experience. Even when I had made a family of my own, it was a take it or leave it kind of thing. I wasn’t obsessed and counting down the days for any holiday. 

I decorate joyfully, I take pictures of pretty light displays, I buy and make my loved ones presents, I do all the things I ought to do. 

But, truly, the only thing that ignites any holiday spirit is rejoicing in my own.

Today, Christmas Eve, I woke up feeling as if it was any other day. Knowing that I could not allow that to be the case, knowing that I wanted to be intentional with my holiday, I decided to do it my way.

I put on a red dress that is terribly provocative, so much that I haven’t been able to actually wear it even once, a big black bow that makes me feel young, and I began to blast non-Christmas music that I could dance to in my living room. 

This made me feel the specialness of the day. You cannot tap into the holiday spirit just by doing holiday bullshit. You need to tap into your own brand of spirit. It doesn’t matter if it does not make sense to anyone, not even yourself. You just need to fuel your own fire. 

What are the things that breathe passion and joy into your bones? What makes you feel waves of exuberant energy that you cannot help but to smile to your own reflection? What makes your stomach flutter and your throat giggle? 

Chase it these days, make it happen for yourself. You deserve a good holiday.

• Dani 💙💚