Don’t Chase the Snake for Healing

 Yesterday I saw a quote that said, 

“Imagine being bitten by a snake, and instead of focusing on healing from the poison - you chase the snake to understand why it bit you and to prove that you didn’t deserve it.”

And it changed me. I’ve been really exploring not only my own victimhood but also my need to be validated by others. Consequently, those two things combine and create “snake chasing behavior”.

When people hurt me, I feel the need to force them to realize that I didn’t deserve that hurt in an attempt to change how they are in my life. I am an undeserving victim and I need the validation of them changing and being in my life. 

But really, the people who should be in my life don’t need to be forced to recognize how I don’t deserve to be hurt like that. The people who really matter should know that always. 

Sure, well-meaning people hurt me too, everyone is human and trying their best, but the difference is, well-meaning people recognize that and try to do better without constant chasing and explaining on my part. 

If someone hurts you repeatedly with no effort to apologize or do better and you constantly chase and push for resolutions and accountability, you are chasing a snake. 

Instead, heal. Do not continue to try to do the emotional work for them and giving them a perfectly placed out in front of them. Focus on your wound, the venom. Heal it and learn that as of right now, they are a venomous snake willing to bite you.

 Maybe one day they will change, but if they do, they will come to you and make it right themselves. You will not have to chase them, constantly tell them how you didn’t deserve that, or try to justify their attack. If they truly change and recognize how you didn’t deserve it, they will let you know on their own behalf. 

There are snakes in my life who love me but can’t stop biting me out of their own reflexes and reactions, and as much as I can keep justifying it and explaining to them not to do it, if they keep it up, I have to walk away. 

I can love them from afar and stay hopeful that they will learn. But from now on, I need to heal the wounds within me. 

I will not chase any more snakes. 

- Dani 💚💙